Question: “How do I not let everything get to me? I have a friend who I think is no longer my friend just a fake one. I’ve tried making new friends but I’m finding it really hard. Do you have any strategies on how to stay positive and not let the little things get to me?”
Compassion. Compassion towards ourselves is very important. Losing friends and growing apart from friends as the years go by is natural. Every best friend I’ve grown up with I am no longer in contact with. The people that knew me better than myself are no longer in my life. And that’s okay. That’s impermanence. It’s inevitable.
When we were kids, making friends was a piece of cake. We would bond instantly because we liked the same color Crayon. As we get older and we grow into our personalities, our likes and dislikes, habits, biases, etc., we start getting picky of who we want to bond with and who we don’t. So naturally, it’s harder to make new friends.
I never really had a big group of friends, but I socialized a lot, so I knew a lot of people. I’m naturally an introvert and a hermit at heart. I prefer staying in and reading a book than going out and be surrounded by uncomfortable crowds. Making friends as adults is stressful and time consuming because there’s actually effort involved! Hah. But it’s not impossible. Some of my best friend’s today are people I met at work and at the temple I go to and at volunteer events.
For anything to happen in our lives, whether it’s making friends, building a birdhouse, growing a garden, or cooking dinner – it takes effort and dedication. If all we do is moup around and wish we were happy when we’re miserable, then we have no one to blame but ourselves! You want a better, happier life, then get up and do something about it! Life is not passive, it’s active, you actually have to work for it. Life is like a plant; we have to water it, give it sun and nurture it so it can grow and flourish into the beauty that it’s meant to be!
Smile and be well!