Question: “I was raped, live in a toxic home, and am trying to help myself spiritually. Any meditation tips for someone full of self hatred, rage, and pain?”
Sometimes we assume that a certain experience or situation is what ignited the hate and pain we have, for instance your horrible past circumstances. Because that’s the “easy” excuse to use, even though it was completely tragic, we take it and feed our anger and hate off of it for as long as we hang on to it.
However, every emotion or judgement has a deeper, core reason than the superficial ones we assume we have like disliking our neighbor or discriminating towards certain people. Hatred is not a natural feeling. It is something we learn to do as we grow older. Hatred towards others and sometimes towards ourselves.
So to find the truth, to find the real reason why you have self-hate, rage and pain, you need to look deeper into yourself and find the answer from within. It is definitely not because of you being raped or living in a toxic home. That may have ignited that fire, but there was something flammable already there waiting to be lit, so you just have to find it. Once you do, you can then work on riding it – whether it’s a feeling, a situation, a certain judgement, whatever.
We always meditate and contemplate on specific things or teachings, but sometimes we have to contemplate on ourselves to find some inner answers and peace. Once we’ve found self-peace, external peace comes easy.
Smile and be well!