Question: “What does Buddhism say about being a homosexual? and gay marriage?”
Buddhism says nothing about homosexuality and gay marriage. Buddha taught us to love and respect everyone, regardless of race, color, social class, sexual orientation, royal status, etc. The only “kind” of Buddhism where it is mentioned is in Tibetan Buddhism where homosexuality (for ordained monks/nuns) is forbidden, but sex is forbidden anyway, so it almost contradicts itself.
Homosexuality and gay marriage is acceptable or non-acceptable according to the society Buddhism is in. If you’re in a country where gay marriage is legal and socially acceptable, then it is acceptable to Buddhism in that country. If you’re in a country where gay marriage is illegal and is socially non-acceptable, Buddhism will still accept it, but they might not accept you to ordain or conduct a marriage ceremony.
In some Buddhist traditions/countries asking if you are homosexual is one of the questions asked during the ordination process. It may or may not affect their decision to accept you, however it is usually not a big deal since Buddhism clearly teaches us to love every sentient being, especially those who we see as enemies or in this case, “different.”
I think it was last year that Taiwan had its first Buddhist gay wedding. From what I can remember, I think it was the first anywhere. So it is possible, depending on where you live. In the states however, because Buddhist temples are mostly oriental (Chinese, Vietnamese, Tibetan, or Thai) where gay marriage is usually unacceptable in their home countries, they might not allow it here either. It really all depends on where you are and who you ask.
Bottom line: Buddhism has no mention at all of homosexuality. The Buddhist Vinaya (the “rules” of monastic living) forbids sex or any sexual acts, so it doesn’t matter what orientation you are.
Smile and be well!