Question: “Hello, So I have a question in regards to a Buddha quote “we can only lose what we cling to.” Does this included people, our loved ones? How would it possible to not cling to your husband or family pet? Isn’t the relationships we build the foundation of happiness? Thank you as always for everything you share and post.”
If you think your husband and family pet is going to create lasting happiness, then you’ll never be happy. True, lasting happiness doesn’t come from external circumstances. Real happiness can only be found within, from ourselves. What Buddha means by “we can only lose what we cling to” is whatever we attach to; our family, house, car, pets, electronics, etc., will only cause us to suffer. Why? Because none of these things are permanent. Your husband will grow old, get sick, and die, and so will your pets. And when they do, are you still happy?
Therefore, external happiness from sensual or emotional pleasures can’t really make us happy for too long. It’s OKAY to want and have things like family, friends, pets, fancy cars and house, and everything above, but it’s NOT okay to cling to these things as if they will bring you lasting happiness and joy. Look around you. Everything you see will eventually age, rot, crumble, get destroyed, and cease to exist. Our house can last for hundreds of years, but eventually it will start to fall apart. Our nice car will stop running smoothly after so many thousands and thousands of miles. Not even our own Earth and sun will last forever.
True happiness is accepting and acknowledging that all these things are impermanent and can’t give us lasting happiness. Once we accept and become content and mindful of life’s impermanence, our losses will be much more bearable. Once we can see the true nature of all things, we will see lasting happiness.
Smile and be well!