Question: “Hello, I hope you’re having a good day! Recently I have been trying to improve my ways and mind and I see improvements. Although these victories are amazing, I can’t help but notice many of my friends are forgetting about me or falling to addiction. Can you give me any advice on how to keep a good path while feeling lonely? Thank you so much!”
If you think of our dependence of things, we are never really alone. By eating, we depend on the farms and people who made the food. By traveling, we depend on the people who made the vehicle and gas. By reading, we depend on the authors, publishers, the trees to make the pages, and the means of getting the material to you. So in a non-traditional way, we are surrounded by dozens of people, so we’re never lonely!
At the same time, try not to see that losing toxic friends as getting lonely. Those are the people we don’t want in our lives anyway. Instead, think of the clarity we would have by not having said distractions in our lives. We all get lonely sometimes, regardless of how many friends we have. It’s natural and that’s okay.
In moments of loneliness we can do one of two things (or both). 1) Think of the people you do have that love and care about you, family, teachers, friends, even neighbors. Concentrate on the gratitude of their love and care. Or, 2) think of the people who have no one at all. The homeless, foster kids, runaways, etc. The people who are truly alone, whether for a short or long period of time. Concentrate on your own gratitude for the family and friends you do have, whether many or few.
In either situation, then meditate on loving-kindness and compassion for yourself and for all beings. Transfer this energy to everyone so that they too can feel love and compassion.
We might not have a lot of material things or friends, but for us we are never alone and unfortunate in the world, so we must be grateful for that and pray that everyone will have the same or better circumstances.
Smile and be well!