Question: “I have been trying to become a more enlightened person; but I am finding it hard when it comes to work. I work in my family’s restaurant which is growing and on the weekends we get crazy busy I’m talking line out the door. Sometimes I let the customers get to me and upset me and I get frustrated because we’re so busy. I try to keep a peaceful mind and remember we are all humans but I hate getting myself angry I don’t like the feeling at all. What can I do to keep myself from feeling like this?”
Meditate. I’ve been in a similar situation. I used to work at a grocery store while in college and half of grad school, so I’d always be in situations where I just wanted to cut people’s heads off. For whatever reason it was, whether they were rude, “stupid,” had no idea what they were even doing, or even feeling like I was a little better than them because I’m more educated. Regardless of the reasons, annoyance was almost a daily thing.
It took a lot more meditation and reflection to get to a point of just being content with the crazies of the world. When we do deep meditation to contemplate on ourselves, we can end up with some great realizations that we never knew about ourselves. When we meditate on our anger, we have to go beyond the superficial reasons of why we’re angry. Sure, you get angry at customers, but why? Because they ask too many questions? Why? Because they take too long to order? Why? Keep asking yourself why, why, why until you get to the core of your anger.
Mediate on the Four Immeasurables (compassion, loving-kindness, appreciative joy and equanimity). These are the perfections we all need to master if we ever want to overcome our ignorance, anger and greed.
Anger isn’t something separate or independent of itself. Anger doesn’t just create itself, we create the anger. So if something or someone angers us, it wasn’t the thing’s or person’s fault; it is our own fault. Why did you allow that person to anger you? If you feel like a situation is about to cause you anger or any other negative emotion, start chanting a mantra. Start breathing mindfully and concentrate on the mantra until it takes over you and you forgot about any negative situations or feelings.
Smile and be well!