Question: Hello! I’m a person who is looking for help and I came over to you! I’m currently in my 8th year of language (I go once every Friday). In this class, I’m face with not the best group of people. Some talk about me behind my back and some people are merely friend with me because they are competitive with me. These people, I feel like, are toxic to each other. I feel heavy in my heart, but I can’t help it. How do I solve this problem?
I wish I could go to a language class. I have a desire to learn 7 languages, but my mind isn’t the sharpest, so it will have to wait until a future life! Anyway.
Our everyday life, regardless of who we are or where we are at, we will be surrounded by toxic and negative people. Sometimes we have a choice and can control whether or not we can remove ourselves from those situations, other times we have no choice. In the instances where we don’t have a choice, we at least have options. One option is to worry about the people around us, what they’re saying, who they are, and drown ourselves in the river of worry they cause us. Another option is simply to accept it and continue with your day, which in my opinion is the easier choice. Why? Because the energy put into worrying about what others think, say or do to us is far more consuming than simply having a “who cares” attitude. Because the best thing you can do for yourself and for those people is smile and treat them with kindness and compassion. The more you are obviously consumed with their actions and they know it, the more they will continue doing what they are doing, because it’s probably entertaining for them. But if they see and know that you know what they’re saying and doing, and still treating them with kindness, then the irritation that you had no longer entertains them and they will eventually get bored and move on.
We can’t fight anger with anger (or any negativity with negativity) because it will just attract more anger and negativity. Only love and compassion can win, because those are stronger and more natural feelings. Someone calling you names do not make you those things. Their words are not magical spells they can cast on you and turn you into what they say. The only people that can control what you hear, say or do is yourself. If you hear someone talking about you behind your back, the only way that it can affect you is if YOU allow it to. If you believe what they say, is it their fault because they said it, or your fault because you believed it? The famous quote “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” is very true. People can call you names and throw the dirtiest and biggest words at you, but if you love yourself and know they can’t control you, then you are the strongest shield against their weapons.
You were born a fortunate human being, the most precious of worldly gifts. Do not tarnish your beauty with people’s negativity. Show them and teach them their worth too.
Smile and be well!