Question: I still have a few years of school and studying left to do and, I’m really attracted to the Buddhist ideology and way of life. But, I feel like it’s very hard to act all calm around aggressive, negative and, frustrated teenagers. My first reaction right now if someone were to say a mean and unnecessary comment or threaten to beat me up/ actually beat me up would be to do the exact same thing. But, I’m guessing that isn’t very Buddhist. What should I do? Just meditate and not do anything about it?”
If you did something about it, then you’ll wish you didn’t. But if you didn’t do anything about it, you’ll wish you did, so it almost seems like a lose-lose situation. No matter where you read about it, almost all Buddhist texts/teachers will say to react to everything with compassion.
Especially for teenagers and young adults, because I’m sure a majority of people who aren’t in the real working adulthood world, is still going through their idiot phase, and in this idiot phase, stupid decisions are made. Unfortunately for the Western world (or anywhere, really), we are taught by example by our society, a society that is full of discrimination, violence, aggression, ignorance, greed, jealousy, fame, etc etc. So we live our lives based on these characteristics because that’s what we know/act/treat others.
To counter the negativity, we need to fight with positivity. Instead of lashing out and fighting back and showing these people that you’re just like then, you draw back and think/act with compassion – showing them that your methods of dealing are better than theirs. Western society sees compassion as a sign of weakness, but in reality the bravest thing you can do is to show people that the best way to win a fight is with compassion and love.
Every war our Earth has ever had was because of greed, anger and discrimination. If the war-starters reacted with compassion and understanding instead, Earth would be a Utopia. We need to reorganize our society from violence, ignorance and hate, to a society of love, compassion and understanding.
The best thing you can do is to remind yourself that whenever you feel like you’re about to fight back, whether with words or actions, that no good is going to come out of it. The anger and violence will still be there and you will still have no peace of mind. What good will come out of fighting? Meditate. Lots of it. Learn a chant or mantra to recite in your head whenever difficult situations arise. Breathe deeply and bring your mind back to your breath whenever you’re in those situations. Walk away and breathe mindfully.
Smile and be well!