Question: Buddha says ‘the root of suffering is attachment’ so do buddhists get married? Marriage is obviously attachment, so what are buddhist views on this topic?
Buddhists do get married. All the time. Monastics don’t, but lay practitioners can and do. Marriage is fine. It’s definitely an attachment, however, attachment to a Buddhist and to a non-Buddhist is probably very different. To a non-Buddhist, an attachment is believing the misconception that something is ultimately always ours, always there or available and never-ending. The belief that new and shiny things will bring lasting happiness, that having the latest tech and fashion is a must-have in life. These are the types of attachments a person who doesn’t understand attachment would have.
People who do understand attachment, both Buddhists and non-Buddhists, know that things are ultimately impermanent and transitory. That we can’t hang on forever to our loved ones, to our belongings, to our houses and cars, etc. Because of the understanding of attachment and a real understanding of impermanence, marriage and other “attachments” are simply things that we can enjoy but understand when we have to let them go and move on.
You can have all the materialistic things you want, but if you have a strong assumption that they will bring you lasting happiness because they make you feel good and happy right now, then you’ll certainly suffer when that happiness vanishes after a while and your craving for more things to bring back that happiness feeling is constantly itching.
Attachment is the false assumption that this brand new iPhone is going to make you happy for a long time. Because what happens? A month into getting it, it gets treated like it’s just some thing that’s there and the happiness is gone, so we crave and slave over the anxiety of the next iPhone to be released.
Smile and be well!