Question: “I am starting to practice Buddhism. Someone in my family is very close to me, but they always seem to want to make me jealous of them I some way. I think it’s because they are insecure and in some way jealous of me. Since I realize this I try not to get upset over it, but it’s difficult to stay positive when you’re being attacked all the time. I’ve meditated on this too and I’ve tried to respond positively to these negative feelings but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Do you have any tips?”
I’m glad you’ve started your practice and are practicing controlling negative feelings. A lot of people come to Buddhism “knowing” it’s this positive, peaceful, always happy, tree-hugging religion, and not really understanding the true concepts of Buddhism. Buddhism is not a fix to your problems. It’s not a medicine that’ll solve all our issues overnight. Buddhism is a guide to lead you to a way to solve your problems; it is not the antidote, it is the ingredients for you to create the antidote.
We have to treat everyone who may cause neutral or negative thoughts as children and we are the parents – it doesn’t matter who, what, how old, or what their religion is. Because as children we learn from what we see our parents doing, including the way they say things, do things, handle certain situations or people, their behavior, etc. If we grow up with kind, patient parents, we will (hopefully) also inherit those qualities. But if we grow up with angry, unkind parents, then we will also have those qualities.
Likewise, even though your family members are of course not your children, but continuing to stay and say positive things will only do good. After a while, and it could be a long while, they will start to see the change in you and how you react to things, but will hopefully spark something in them to come to that realization and follow in your path.
We all have positive, negative and neutral seeds in our consciousness – it just takes certain circumstances and conditions for those seeds to grow. Some of us have more growing negative seeds than positive, others with more positive – but all have equal opportunities to grow and flourish, it’s your job to water the seeds you wish to bloom.
So continue what you’re doing. Continue staying and being positive and watering your positive seeds. Their negativity cannot hurt you unless you allow it to, otherwise it is just empty words that make them sound like fools because they see that it doesn’t affect you.
Smile and be well!