Since I’ve taken refuge and strict Buddhist studies, I often contemplate what I want to do in the future. Lately I’ve been really juggling around the idea of being ordained. Not anytime soon, because of debt (you shouldn’t, or can’t ordain if you have debt), and student loans aren’t going to pay themselves off. So I’m hoping as I’m getting my Ph.D. it’ll give me the opportunity to start paying that debt down. Plus all this extra time will give me lots of opportunity for further growth and understanding.
But in the mean time, once I am done with graduate school and into a doctoral program, and if I have the opportunity to snatch myself a fellowship (being able to teach, do research, and have a stipend), it would be the best timeframe to take my Bodhisattva Vows. I’d take them now, but I feel I’d be breaking a lot of them with the job I have – working in retail! So when the time’s right, so will the vows.
Another thought about ordaining: There aren’t many, or really any major, monasteries in the US. Plenty of temples, sure, where there are maybe a few monks and nuns stay, but no full-fledged Mahayana monasteries (that I know of, at least). Maybe that can be a future project?
But for now, living in the present moment, I’m enjoying the clear blue sky, the chirping of the birds outside my window, and the mindful breath that releases loving-kindness and compassion for everyone around me and beyond.
I’ve been slowly de-attaching myself from my belongings. I had two seven foot-tall bookshelves in my room filled with my favorite books and mostly just “stuff.” Small artifacts, things I’ve collected, stuff of my grandparents, etc. I asked myself the day I decided to clear the shelves, “What would happen, or how would I feel if all this was suddenly gone? If it was burnt down or stolen? Do I have any real attachment towards them or do I just think it’s a bunch of cool things?” So I packed all that stuff in boxes and took out the shelves, and replaced it with a new table (or altar) with all my Buddha statues, bells, flowers, and malas, and it’s now a huge upgrade of my previous small corner table (or Zen area, as I like to call it) (picture below). I think this is a great first step to letting go of all our materialistic attachments.
Smile and be well!