Ridding Attachment

Question: “Hi, I have a question how do I get rid of attachment. Like I’m moving soon or might be and I don’t want it to hurt when I move and lose all my friends”

Separating from loved ones is one of the Eight Sufferings. This type of suffering happens to everyone; our parents, siblings, family, and friends will all eventually die and we suffer because of their death. So even though you’re just moving away, I know it can sometimes feel the same way. It’s common and often friends and family spend every waking moment together before they move away. Don’t do that. You would want to do the complete opposite. Spend less and less time with them as moving day gets closer and this will help you not have this huge wave of emotions of missing them when you leave.

Just because you’re moving doesn’t mean it’s the end of your friendships. Social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and texting is the main means of communication these days anyway (My graduate thesis concluded that teens and young adults spend more time socializing on social media than they do face-to-face). So it’s not really the end of the world.

Trying to detach yourself from worldly things (including people) brings you so much closer to liberation than almost any other means of trying to find Enlightenment. Because it’s these worldly desires, wants, needs, etc. that keep us from finding our true Self. Attachment makes you suffer. When you’re attached to something, you want it to last forever, thinking it’s permanent. When really, everything is impermanent and nothing will last forever. The nice new computer you bought will eventually start to slow down, freeze, and become outdated. Even your house, this big, strong structure that keeps you safe will eventually get old, start to wither, shake, deteriorate, and crumble. So the same goes for people. People will always come in and out of your life, no matter how good of friends you are. Even if they live next door to you for the rest of your lives, you and they will get old, get sick, and die. So it’s important to know that no matter how much you try to avoid it or run away from it, impermanence is what life is, so instead of being afraid of it and suffer, embrace it and acknowledge it and make it your goal to find the Way to get out of the cycle of impermanence and Samsara.


Smile and be well!


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