Monkhood vs. Lay Life

For many years I had this vague vision of what my future would look like: high education, successful career, a partner, big house, nice car, two or three dogs, and a get-away home somewhere in the mountains of Colorado. Then I was awakened and all those future plans changed. Lately I’ve been really contemplating Monkhood. I have very strong feelings of wanting to ordain as a monk. Then someone asked me, “But you can be a very good Buddhist and not be a monk.” This is true, but obviously it’s more than that. Monks have certain higher advantages than lay practitioners do. Maybe even better and quicker means to finding liberation.

Last week I asked my monk what the process of ordaining would be. He said because I just recently took my Precepts Vows, I would have to wait at least two years to be able to take my Bodhisattva Vows. Afterwards I would be a novice for two years, then which I would have to take a three-day exam to pass to be fully ordained as a Monk. Finally, I would have to study with him for five years before I could go out on my own to join another temple, start my own, or stay at the same temple.

He then explained to me a little about the daily routine of a monk at the (this) temple, which begins by waking up at 4:30 am to start the day with chanting and meditation, then breakfast at 7am. Temple chores and cleaning after breakfast, proceeded with more meditation and studying. Then lunch. An hour “break” is given to take a nap or study. More chanting and meditation before dinner and the service. Finally, studying and a two-hour meditation before going to bed at 12am.

What a day! To me, the only discouraging thing about that is waking up so early! The monk emphasized that monks don’t get very much sleep. So does this change my aspiration to ordain? Not really. It’s scary, don’t get me wrong. It’s very scary, it’s even scarier to think, “Can I do this? Can I survive?” The monk told me a couple of stories where people came in and didn’t even last two weeks before leaving! So then again I thought to myself, “Would I be able to handle it?” Luckily I have at least two years to think it over. Plus, I have a mountain of student loan debt that I’d need to pay off first, and somehow convince my parents that this is what’s going to make me happy and give me peace of mind, and hopefully, ultimately liberation.

So why not just stay as a lay person? As lay people we can be devout Buddhists, but we’ll always have distractions, obligations, greed, anxiety, anger, frustration, and easier means to break any of the precepts. As a monk or nun, you’re taking away from almost all distractions and obligations of life like work, bills, financial issues, and anything else that might cause suffering (the Eight Sufferings). It’s easier for monastics to completely dedicate their time and life to the Dharma (studying and teaching) and to meditation. As lay people the constant distractions and anxieties of life will always bombarded our minds – when’s this bill due, need to pay and buy this and that, I hate my job, I need a new job, I don’t like my co-workers/roommate, I never have money, etc etc.

Not all lay practitioners have problems or difficulties, obviously. However, there’s always something. For many people daily meditation and chanting, and going to a Temple service once a week is enough to fulfill their practice. For others, a more dedicated and monastic life is what they need to feel the joy and happiness of their practice and aspirations.

I can’t say I’ll ordain in two years, or five, or ten years. Graduate school was not cheap, so all that debt would need to be paid off first. Then, my family are really close. Only a couple know of my spiritual journey, so how could my parents explain to everyone else how I disappeared and don’t visit anymore? How would I even convince my parents to be okay with it would be the first issue! There are so many obstacles and sacrifices that would need to be overcome first. So, it would be a long while before I can even think about monastic life.

What are your thoughts about Monkhood and being a Lay Buddhist?

Smile and be well!

10 comments to “Monkhood vs. Lay Life”
  1. I do believe that the thoughts you have of becoming a Monk ,and living the life style of a Monk maybe a little different than you think. The thought behind wanting to become a Monk may not be clear.

  2. I believe your intentions are pure from what i have read. Your understanding of the Dharma is from a place with in that shall grow.
    Living in a temple does not take away from the distractions of every day life. Distractions, obligations, greed, anxiety, anger, frustrations are a part of every day life as humans, being a Monk or Laity. Either inside a temple or inside a 4 bedroom house, it is how we think, and respond to the emotions with in. Just as a house takes money to keep the heat on in winter, The temple still has financial obligations, it still has the bills due at the end of the month for the Monks to live in the temple.

    • That is true. Though I should of clarified in the post (what I actually meant) when I say “no distractions,” is “less distractions.” I guess as in there still there, just not as obvious and ruling as they would be as a monk.

      Smile and be well!

  3. In my case, I’ve come to realize that the only way I’m going to ordain is to wait until I’m at least 50 to even start. This is the result of my kamma — I started a family and have kids for whom I must provide and my family isn’t sufficiently wealthy to permit me to be away.

    Ordaining is certainly the ideal in my mind, but there is still worthwhile practice in being a layperson. Find happiness in the opportunities you do have, as rebirth in a time and place where the dhamma is being taught is rare!

    Be well, friend!

    • Understood. I was also thinking I could wait until my mother was old and senile! Hah. She would never let me go without a fight, and the fact that I wouldn’t be able to touch or hug her again would surely add to the ‘NO’ of her response!

      Smile and be well!

  4. In the traditional sense of being ordained as a monk, ie living in a temple, is a fascinating idea for many people, myself included. I took that leap and lived in a temple for a few years, and earned the title of Dharma Heir, as well as having master robes. What I have learned from this- people don’t have to live in a temple to be a monk! In the times we live in, living in the temple is just a place we lay our heads and sleep. The temple to which we are held responsible for resides in ourselves. Now that i no longer live in a temple, am i no longer a monk? it is true that i no longer wear robes every day, but the manner in which i live is still every much the same.

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