Question: “Hi! I’ve come to the conclusion that in order for me to be happy, I would like to teach myself the ways of Buddhism. Could you please give me an idea of where to start? Thank you!”
If you think you came to any conclusion about happiness, then it’s not really a conclusion or happiness! Nothing in Buddhism is a conclusion. It’s a never-ending practice, so you can never conclude anything. And because you think that something, in this case Buddhism, is a means of giving you happiness gives me the conclusion that you have a lot of studying to do!
What happens when you go to college, take classes, study, write papers, and give presentations for four years? You graduate! You suffer, stress out, exhaust yourself, and maybe even cry a few times, but the end result is that diploma you get to hang on the wall and be proud of.
Likewise, Buddhism is not graduation, it isn’t something you can skip to the end and magically be happy. You have to work for it. The same way we go to college and study our asses off for good grades and get our degree, we study our asses off in Buddhism to reach the end result; liberation!
Buddhism is simply the tool to reach the finish line of ultimate happiness, of ultimate peace and bliss. Just like going to frat parties and having fun with your friends is such a good time and your happy, you still have to wake up the next day and go to school and/or work. The happiness is temporary. And it’s the same thing in Buddhism. We will have moments of happiness, but it is not happiness itself. It is simply the tool to reach “forever happiness.”
So what are you going to do? Read a book or two, call yourself Buddhist, and volla be this happy, energetic person? Doesn’t work that way. As Buddhist it is necessary to control our emotions, to not allow negative emotions to take over, and to know how to deal and handle them. That’s why you see Buddhist monks always smiling and laughing. It’s not that they’re the happiest people in the world, it’s because they know how to handle negative thoughts and feelings, and knowing how to allow them to come and go so that they don’t attach to it and let it ruin their mood.
Read. Practice. That’s all you can do. Read about what you practice, and practice what you read. And of course, meditate. It’s a powerful tool to help you gain any real happiness.
Smile and be well!