Question: “I have endured pain and have seen an ex cling to a new relationship when in my heart I still love her. Idk what to do because I have this rage inside? Help”
Are you jealous or angry? Or are you angry because you’re jealous? If anything you should be glad some other chump has to deal with someone who wasn’t good enough for you! Kidding. *clasped hands* We should be happy for all sentient beings.
Why be angry? Why be jealous? Jealousy is a very bad habit and affects our karma in so many ways because it blocks our ability for compassion and generosity. Jealousy arises because we see people have or do something we want or couldn’t do. Whether it’s the person we want to be with, the job we were expecting, or the praise or credit we thought we’d get. Jealousy is very much related to our karma. Karma is democratic. Everyone is equal and receives the same amount of affect for the causes they create. If your co-worker puts in more hours and works harder, but you don’t because you want to go out with friends and drink, at the end of the week they’ve done more and better work than you and will receive praise for it. You had the same opportunity to work more and harder to receive the same praise.
Our ability to be compassionate, generous, and not too much affected by jealousy or anger is a result of our karma. Cultivate compassion, loving-kindness, equanimity, and appreciative joy, and in your present and future lives you will be able to be in situations and not be too affected by them. Losing loved ones is one of the eight sufferings, it’s an obstacle that will keep us from happiness. So why feel angry? Instead, accept that the gains and losses in life is part of life and your karma, so instead of bringing yourself and those around you down, accept and move on! How is being angry benefiting you? Do you feel better because you’re angry? Do you feel stronger and more entitled to getting the ex back because of your anger? I’m sure not.
Meditate. Meditate that life is impermanent and everything in it are like clouds; they come and go, some are nice and big and will be in the sky for a while, while others are small and disappear quickly. Anger creates more anger. Love and acceptance are the only antidotes.
Also, read this post about impermanence.
Smile and be well!