Question: “Quang Trí Thank you for your clear and concise answers on here. I practice and this serves as a great grounding whenever I get too heady. I struggle the most with compassion, forgiveness, anger, and trust. (raised in a religious cult by military-type household nearly ended my life) Also tolerance I know I cant go on without it but what are some other ways to cultivate a healthy mindset with these characteristics at the forefront? It is extremely hard for me and I want to be better. namaste”
Sometimes during our practice of compassion, forgiveness, getting over anger, etc., we think we have to cultivate these attitudes for others, but we really need to establish these characteristics for ourselves first.
It’s important to have compassion and forgive others, but we have to have compassion and forgive ourselves first. How can we help others escape their struggles and suffering if we can’t do it for ourselves? There has always been seeds of anger, hate, mistrust, ignorance and greed that’s been planted in our consciousness and it takes the right circumstances for them to grow and flourish. Often times it’s the situations in our own lives growing up; whether it’s family issues or personal issues.
As adults, we should have a content understanding that “shit happens” and if we want things to change, then we must change them with our own efforts and diligence. If you want good grades in school, study harder. If you want a better job, work harder. If you want to spiritually awaken, then you must put in the effort to overcome your ignorance, greed and anger.
Meditate. Contemplate on the things that anger you. Contemplate on why they anger you and why you allow them to anger you. What good is letting someone or something anger you? Is it helping you in your life? In others’ lives? Is your anger helping you enlighten yourself?
Meditate on compassion, love and forgiveness for yourself. Once you’re able to emancipate yourself from your own blocking walls and help yourself, then you can start helping others. Your happiness and peace can help others, and others’ happiness is your own happiness.
Smile and be well!