Desires

Question: ” I am someone that feels exhausted with OCD and other desires. I constantly want more and more, and obsess on it. I realize that this pattern won’t work. No matter how much you get you’ll just want more. Do you think there is no value to striving to get a glamorous career, and be what people call “successful” if in the end all you do is want more and more and never end up being satisfied? Or is there lesser value in this, we can enjoy it for a time, but it’s not a central part of life?”

There’s no problem with wanting things, a big house, fancy car, and a successful career. The only problem is attaching to them and relying on them for your happiness. It’s a natural feeling for people to want more after they’ve managed to get something. For example, before the iPhone, no one wanted the iPhone. When it was debuting, everyone wanted it because it was the cool, new thing. People wanted it even more when they were able to hold it, play with it, and see what it could do. So because you’ve established this initial desire for the iPhone, every time the next version comes out, you’ll always want it because the perfectly functioning iPhone you have now just isn’t enough.

Desire is sometimes necessary. We have to desire to become liberated, to become a Buddha. But if our desires are harmful to ourselves or to others, then it’s a selfish, bad desire. We have to meditate on our desires and contemplate on why we desire. What kind of lasting happiness do we think it’ll bring us? If it’s something we know we’ll lose, break, get bored of, then why even bother? Practicing generosity is a good first step to getting over our selfish desires. Giving away personal items to charity, Good Will, or to the homeless can help us break that “I want everything” bond. Slowly, but surely, our desires will lessen until we can be happy with little and look at the beauty of the world around us without all of our “things” blocking our view.

 

Smile and be well!

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