Detachment

Question: “Detachment said is much easier than to practise. Kindly could you guide how to practise it.”

Detachment is extremely difficult, that’s why right after ignorance, it’s high on the list of sufferings and staying in the cycle of Samsara. Until we’re emancipated, we’ll always be attached to things – the house we live in, the bills we have, family, friends, transportation, are all things we have that falls under attachment. And they’ll always be there until we live a solitary life in a cave somewhere in the mountains!

But if we can’t be emancipated, there are less extreme ways of detachment. Living a simple life is the best and easiest way to slowly be less attached. Want, need, and have less things. De-clutter and clean out your room or even the whole house; give things away, store things that you don’t need or use anymore (or give that away too!), we’re attached to the decors in our house by hanging a lot of things like pictures, posters, and objects; take those down or at least take some down. If your room or house is a mess, then you have too much stuff – let it go (give it away or throw it out) if you can. What I personally did to lessen by stuff is: in my bedroom I have two large bookshelves, they both were only half full of books and the rest with random stuff and childhood objects. I packed everything up, put it in storage and gave the bookshelves away to friends. Which was great, because it made room for my altar (meditation space). I then tried to cut my bills, so I canceled cable and a couple of other Internet services. Now I spend my time reading, writing, and volunteering (when I’m not at work or school). If I lived in a city where a transit or better public transportation was offered, I’d even get rid of my car!

My goal is to slowly lessen my worldly objects and obligations (bills and responsibilities) so that one day when I ordain, the culture shock of not having anything won’t be so severe.

When it comes to detachment from people, that’s slightly more difficult. We need, depend on, and rely on others for emotional and mental comfort. Don’t. Especially with significant others. We can love them, yes. But don’t needthem. Don’t depend on them. Because what’s going to happen is you’re going to suffer if they ever leave your life. So by simply loving them and enjoying them in your life without clinging to them, you’ll be able to detach yourself from any suffering. With family, it’s probably the hardest. Especially if someone passes away. But as Buddhist, we know that they’re not really gone. They’ve simply moved on to another shell (body). So when they die, don’t cry and grieve hysterically – this will keep them here even longer. Instead, tell them it’s okay to go and chant them a sutra.

Practice by living and wanting less, and living simply. The less worries we have, the less suffering we’ll cause, and the closer to liberation we’ll be!

 

Smile and be well!

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